The Cafe of Eternal Darkness
by Valkyrie Celes
Summary: Two shot.  Chaos is going to the Cafe of Eternal Darkness, where he hangs out with his goth friends.  Momo follows him to find out what being a goth is all about.  Jr and Ziggy go to save Momo from the crazy cafe.  Read about their Momo rescue mission.
1. Part 1

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I haven't written a XenoSaga story in a long time, and just got this idea, of course a humorous one. If you follow my stories, you know I make Chaos a goth, Momo far too innocent for her own good and Jr a psycho, temperamental guy who protects Momo at any cost. With that, I give you this story. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own XenoSaga 1, 2 or 3, any of its people, places or things. I do own the story idea, and my complete distortion, and possibly extortion of the caricatures I am creating.**

**Café of Eternal Darkness**

**Part One**

It was a typical day on the Durandal, where our heroes frequented hanging out. They all were hanging around the common room of the large ship, conversing in different corners of the room.

Jr and Ziggy were off to one side, and Momo and Chaos were on the other. Momo sat on the floor, looking up at the man intently. She was very interested in what Chaos was saying.

"And that is why the conformists own their hybrid cars and have their sunshine corporate jobs," Chaos said monotonely. "Because their afraid to see themselves, afraid to feel the darkness that threatens to consume their souls. So they all join the rat-race, with their nine dollar an hour pay and their Nordstrom's business suits. Conformists."

"What's so wrong with that?" Momo asked innocently. "If their happy, why should they indulge in the darkness that consumes their souls?"

"Because Momo, they are all conformists now. If they indulge in the darkness that threatens to consume their souls, then they'll be non-conformists. That is how the world should be; a world filled with darkness and pain. For you see, no one will ever be happy. They just try to be with their sunshine smiles and their Justin Timberlake CDs."

"What's a Timberlake?"

"Your missing the point Momo. For me to tell you everything about being a non-conformist, you would have to join me with the other non-conformists. Are you interested?" he looked at the pink haired girl hopefully.

Momo just sat there for a few moments, looking down at her boots.

"I'd like to broaden my knowledge, even if it is about some weird cult. What do I have to do to go to where everyone else is?"

"You have to wear the same clothes we do, and listen to the same music. Then, you have to join us at the Cafe of Eternal Darkness where we all drink dark coffee and read our poetry."

"Do I need a poem?"

"No. You are still a conformist, so you don't need a poem. Do you want to come with me Momo? I'll be going there shortly."

"I…" she thought for a while.

"CHAOS!!"

Momo looked up surprised.

Jr came barreling towards them; his pistols cocked. He stopped in front of Chaos, pointing them at him with malice.

"Your trying to convert Momo again, aren't you? I told you to stay away from her you stupid goth!"

"You don't know a thing about being a non-conformist, conformist. If you did, perhaps you wouldn't be such a hater."

"Oh please," Jr scoffed. "Your entire group is conformist; you all listen to the same music, write poems about torture and pain and wear black. Your conformists, just with a different group of people, so stop being a hypocrite you stupid goth!"

"I'm not a conformist, conformist," Chaos muttered. "If your ever interested Momo, just tell me. I'll take you to the Café."

"Thank you," she smiled warmly. "But I don't think I'll ever be interested, it sounds kind of scary in there. I don't like the dark."

"You will once your soul is engulfed in the darkness."

"Go away!" Jr shot some bullets at Chaos' feet.

He easily dodged them, walking away from the pair.

Jr looked down at the sitting Momo.

"Well, now that that's over with, what do you wanna do?"

"Hm…" Momo pondered. "I know, we can play hearts again! Those cards look so pretty…can we Jr?"

"Sure. I'll get the old man too. Let's go."

Jr held out his hand. Momo took it. He helped her stand up.

They walked over to the table on the other side of the room where Ziggy, and a deck of cards awaited them.

**The next day…**

Chaos was leaving the Durandal late at night. He was wearing all black and holding a black notebook, which had a skull and crossbones on its cover. He crept quietly through the halls of the ship.

"Time to share my ideals with the non-conformists. They understand, the darkness which engulfs my soul."

"Chaos?"

The goth turned.

Momo stood before him, a curious look on her face. She scanned the man's attire oddly.

"What're you doing?" she asked.

"I'm going to the Café of Eternal Darkness. Wanna come?"

"No, I was just wondering where you would go at such a late hour. You can keep on walking if you want. Bye bye."

"Bye."

Chaos continued walking. He was out of view rather quickly.

Momo's face lit up.

"I know. I'll bring him a lamp so he won't be in the dark all the time. I'm sure that'll make him happy."

The pink haired girl looked around for a lamp. She spotted one in the hall.

Momo swiftly unplugged the lamp, dragging it behind her.

With that, she followed Chaos to the Café of Eternal Darkness.

**Momo enters the cafe**

Goth music blared from speakers as Chaos entered the café. He saw a few of his fellow goth, and went over to them.

"Hello Chain Thrasher, Raven. Are you ready to share your pain?"

"Yes Pain Wallower, we are. I see you brought the Notebook of Everlasting Torment, I hope you've been writing non-conformist poems in it."

"Of course Chain Thrasher, why wouldn't I? I think I have a good one for tonight about someone I know."

"Well then, why don't you go up first."

"Alright then. Have some dark coffee waiting for me."

"Right, so we can drink coffee that matches the darkness in our souls."

"Totally."

Chaos made his way to the stage.

Momo entered the building; her eyes lit up with fascination at the various sights she saw.

People were gathered around tables, drinking dark coffee. Others were smoking something in the corner, Momo didn't know what it was. Others were talking the way Chaos did, about what she didn't know.

"So this is a goth café. Interesting, I wonder why its so dark in here though…" she smiled reassuringly.

"That's OK. I'll light it up soon. I'm sure they'll all be happy to get some light in here."


	2. Part 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own XenoSaga 1, 2 or 3, any of its people, places or things. I do own the Café of Eternal Darkness, and the Goths in the café other than Chaos. I don't know if that's a gift, or a curse…heh…oh well, onto part 2.**

**Café of Eternal Darkness**

**Part Two**

"ZIGGY!!"

Jr burst through the door of the cyborg's room. Ziggy was just standing there, because let's face it, does anyone think Ziggy gets rest lying down?

Ziggy stared down at the smaller man. An annoyed look crossed his face, because he didn't want to deal with Jr's rantings right now.

"What now?" he asked.

"It's Momo, she's gone! I saw her follow Chaos out the door with a lamp!"

"And you didn't stop her from leaving?"

"We don't have time for this bickering old man!" Jr cocked his pistols. "We gotta save Momo, what if he tries to convert Momo into a goth. Damn it Albedo!!"

Ziggy looked at Jr puzzled.

"Albedo? Jr, Albedo has been gone for awhile now. What does he have to do with this?"

"He must've taken over Momo's mind, that's why she followed Chaos. Damn you Albedo, what are you planning now!!" he shot into the air. The bullets ricocheted off the walls.

Ziggy ducked so none of the bullets hit him.

"Calm down Jr, shooting at nothing won't accomplish anything. Why don't we just go get Momo from that café Chaos always goes to. I'm sure that's were he is."

"Well duh," the URTV glared at the cyborg indignantly. "I know that much smartass. I came here to get you. So are you ready to go save Momo?"

"Yes. Let us go."

Jr and Ziggy swiftly left the Durandal. They headed to the Café of Eternal Darkness.

"Damn it Albedo, if you hurt her I'll…" Jr muttered under his breath.

Ziggy just rolled his eyes.

"I don't know what Momo sees in you," he muttered as well.

**Momo at the Café**

"So little girl, do you see now? All the corporations do is fill your mind with fantasies of happiness and bliss. Then they tell you they can give you that happiness with their products. When you buy the products, they don't make you any happier. Therefore, they fill your heart with disappointment and darkness. You see little girl, the world is filled with the void of everlasting darkness and pain. You will never be happy unless you accept that, and become a non-conformist."

Momo looked at a random Goth who was speaking to her. She let her speak, trying to humor her. She really didn't want to hear what they had to say; her fascination with the Goths had faded. Now, she was just bored. She really wanted to find Chaos, give him the lamp and get outta there.

"I'm already happy," Momo replied. "I don't need corporate products to make me happy. Why do you think I'm not happy?" she frowned. "Do I look unhappy, cause I'm not…" Momo smiled even broader than she was.

The Goth recoiled in disgust.

"No…the joy…can't stand…ugh…" she crumpled in her seat. "Noooo…"

"What's wrong?" Momo touched the Goth's shoulder. She howled in pain.

"It burns! The joy…noooo!"

"Huh? What's wrong with you?" Momo looked at the Goth in shock. "Your allergic to joy? How strange…" the innocent girl looked around quickly.

Goths surrounded her; she had no way out. Pot smoking and coffee drinking filled the air like a bad cough. She gasped, placing her hand over her mouth.

"Oh no, I'm stuck," she groaned. "Someone, help!"

Just then, a goth MC got up on the stage. He held a raven black mike in his hand.

"How are all the non-conformists tonight?" he asked. No excitement whatsoever was in his tone.

A mass of finger snapping was their reply.

"Killer. Do all you non-conformists want to hear some killer poetry about pain and sadness?"

More finger snaps followed.

"More Killer. Alright non-conformists, put your fingers together for Pain Wallower and The Notebook of Everlasting Torment."

The Goths snapped their fingers some more; they now weren't noticing the little girl.

Momo ducked under an unoccupied table. She held the lamp in front of her, as if it would shield her from all of the non-conformists in the building.

**Jr and Ziggy enter the café**

Jr scanned the room fiercely. He looked for any indication of Momo, which wasn't hard in this crowd. Her pink hair would easily be spotted amongst the dark reds and blacks of the Goths.

"Do you see her old man?" Jr asked. Ziggy shook his head.

"No. Perhaps she's hiding from all of them, I know I would."

"Yeah, we gotta get her outta here. Damn you Albedo, damn you to hell!"

Ziggy said nothing. He just let Jr throw his insane temper tantrum, because he did this far too often for Ziggy to be phased by it.

"Hello non-conformists. Have you come to hear Pain Wallower's poems? He is the best non-conformist poetry writer we have. We keep on trying to make him self publish The Notebook of Everlasting Torment, but he won't. What do you think—"

"Buzz of goth, we don't want your long ass rants about how corporations kill the world or whatever. I own one of those corporations, so buzz off!"

The goth gasped.

"Conformist, you're the worst of them all. You dash the hopes and dreams of the world, only to feed your corporate machine with the dreams of the employees."

"Oh shut up. You have a job, so rot in hell hypocrite!"

"I don't have a conformist job. I work for the non-conformists."

POP.

Jr shot the goth point blank in the head. The goth fell to the floor. The last word from his mouth was 'conformist'. Jr blew at the smoke which was now coming from his guns.

"That'll shut him up," the gun midget commented.

"Jr, won't the authorities get suspicious of all the killings that happen at your hand? In fact, why haven't you gotten arrested yet."

"'Cause I got the Kukai Foundation covering my tracks," he smirked. "Now let's find Momo before they do something to her."

**Momo**

"Darkness, emptiness, pain. I am an empty void filled with all these things. Only the death of my soul can stop the endless void from engulfing it."

"Ooo, shut up!"

Momo had her ears covered. She hated hearing the goth poetry, which was blaring from the microphone on the stage. Her eyes were closed tightly, so she couldn't see the darkness around her.

"Please someone, come and save me," she pleaded. "Jr!"

"What are you doing down here non-conformist?"

Momo opened her eyes slowly. She screamed.

A heavily pierced, black clad goth was staring down at her. Their black makeup combined with their pale white face makeup made them look ghastly.

Momo clenched onto the stem of the lamp. Unconsciously, she moved her fingers up to where the lamp switch was and flicked it on.

She looked in amazement as the lamp turned on.

"But its not plugged in," she looked puzzled. "Is it battery powered too?"

"The light…" the goth covered their face. "I can't stand the light!"

"Wha? Are you monsters?" the little girl looked puzzled.

The goth cried out in pain. Their face began to slowly melt, as if they were doused in a blazing inferno.

"Are they just another form of nosis?" Momo pondered out loud.

The goth was no more. Momo sighed with relief.

The pink haired girl stood, holding her new found weapon. She hoped it would be a beacon to someone to help her.

**Jr and Ziggy**

"Do ya see that old man?"

"Yes, I do. Could that be Momo?"

The duo stood in the front of the café, their eyes fixed on a light in the middle of the building.

The Goths were shielding their eyes from the light, as if it would cause them great pain.

"Are they vampires or somethin'?" Jr thought out loud.

"What Jr?" Ziggy asked.

"Nuthin. Lets get to that light, I'm sure it's Momo."

Jr pushed forward first, Ziggy followed. They swiftly moved through the crowd, pushing anyone and anything out of the way.

"What're you doing here, non-conformist. You're not allowed in here," a goth said.

"Outta my way!" Jr killed another goth.

The others saw this and gasped. They all stopped what they were doing; including Pain Wallower.

"What are you doing here non-conformists," Pain Wallower said from the stage.

Jr looked up at the stage in shock.

"Chaos? Oh god, its not bad enough that you're a goth, but you read the poetry too? Remind me to kill you when we get Momo."

"Momo's here too? Good, we can convert you conformists now. Listen Goths," he directed his words to the other Goths in the building. "Don't let those three leave. Not until their non-conformists."

The Goths all turned their direction towards the URTV and the cyborg. They were ready to strike.

Pot cigarettes and coffee mugs were all flung at the duo. Jr ducked, easily avoiding the blow. Ziggy took all the hits, like the badass that he was. He stared at the Goths, with a look that could kill.

"We don't want any trouble. All we want, is our friend."

"You will wallow in your pain, like us. All we have to do is take you in the back and make you smoke pot."

"Like hell, I'm not gonna smoke pot," Jr retorted. He sent out three bullets, which hit three Goths in their kneecaps. They keeled over in pain.

Momo's ears perked up at the gunshots.

"Jr?" she pulled herself from under the table.

"Jr, is that you? I'm over here!"

She waved the lamp like a flag.

"MOMO!" Jr cried. "DAMN YOU ALBEDO, YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!"

Momo ran through the hysteria of Goths. She spotted her friends, and jumped up and down excitedly.

"Jr, Ziggy, you came for me!"

"Momo," Ziggy said. "Hang on."

With that, Ziggy used his manly, super-buff strength to plow through the Goths. He seismic tossed the ones who remained in his way.

Jr spun in a mad circle, shooting blindly at the Goths. They all ducked for cover as the gun wielding midget spun madly.

"Eat this you Goth bastards. This is what you get for joining Albedo!"

Ziggy strode up to Momo. The little girl giggled as she hugged the man's waist.

"Ziggy. Thank goodness you and Jr came. I'm sorry, I promise I'll never come here again."

"That's OK Momo. Just remember, no goth is a good goth."

"Alright."

The duo walked to the door.

"Jr, let's go!" Momo cried.

"OK!"

Jr ran to the door with his super speed. He shot one last goth before leaving with the other two.

Chaos sighed disappointedly.

"Oh well, I'll try and convert them when I get back to the Durandal. Forget it non-conformists, let's go back to our poetry."

The remaining Goths turned and faced towards the stage. Chaos cleared his throat.

"I want to cut my eyes out with razor blades…"

**Momo, Jr and Ziggy**

The trio walked down the street. Momo and Jr were holding hands.

"So Momo, why did you follow Chaos?"

"Well, Chaos kept on talking about darkness, so I thought he could use some light. So I decided to take him a lamp to light up the place. I guess it didn't work…when I turned on the lamp it melted one of the Goths, so I guess I'm glad I didn't give it to Chaos."

"So Goths are weak to light?" Ziggy asked. Momo nodded her head.

"Uh-huh. They just melted."

"Really…" Jr smirked evilly. Ziggy eyed his friend suspiciously.

"Jr, what are you planning?"

"Nothing…well, nothing that matters. Let's just say, I'm devising a plan to eradicate all Goths, MWAHAHA!"

**THE END**

**Author's Note: OK, this is what I think of Goths. It isn't necessarily true, but it's my opinion of them. So while your reviewing, keep in mind that this is one persons opinion, and don't whine about how I bash them, blah blah, blah. This is strictly humorous, so don't take it seriously!**

**Oh yeah, and thanks for reading, Bye for now!**


End file.
